Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Batman. I don't have to have a reason why. It's fucking Batman.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
30 Day Challenge: Day Five
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Ruby Falls in Chattanooga, Tennessee
I was probably the most beautifulest thing I've ever seen. The waterfall is amazing.
Ruby Falls in Chattanooga, Tennessee
I was probably the most beautifulest thing I've ever seen. The waterfall is amazing.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Pretty Good Day
Yesterday Kate came over. We ended up laying in the pool and talking most of the time. We actually had a heart-to-heart conversation. I warned her about the vicious halls of high school. Told her about how people change and life gets harder. Part of me wasn't happy that she was coming in high school. Now I'm really glad she is. If anyone were to mess with her, Andrea and I got her back. I hope her first year goes alright. I hope she doesn't get in as much trouble as I did. It was nice actually talking to her. I'm glad I have a cousin that I can just drop everything and talk to about anything. She's really my best friend.
30 Day Challenge: Day Four
A habit you wish you didn't have.
Hmm... I'm not sure. I don't have very many habits? I used to bite my nails, but that stopped when I got braces. It doesn't really bother me, but I guess I would have to say playing with/fixing my hair. My bangs are usually in my face and I constantly fix them or mess with my hair. It annoys some people. I guess it's just my being self-conscious.
Hmm... I'm not sure. I don't have very many habits? I used to bite my nails, but that stopped when I got braces. It doesn't really bother me, but I guess I would have to say playing with/fixing my hair. My bangs are usually in my face and I constantly fix them or mess with my hair. It annoys some people. I guess it's just my being self-conscious.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
30 Day Challenge: Day Three
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Allie, Megan, Johnathan, Kyle, Chelsey, me, Becca, and Devin. Some of us are closer than others, but I love these people.
Now these next two pictures are of my best friends. The ones that I know I'll never loose touch with and never forget. Not that those in the picture above aren't special, because they are. But these are the people that keep me sane. Or at least my version of it.
Katelyn, Elizabeth, and me
I'm not in the picture. But this is Hallie and Alexis. I was creepin' them. It's what I do.
<3 I love all you lovely people.
Allie, Megan, Johnathan, Kyle, Chelsey, me, Becca, and Devin. Some of us are closer than others, but I love these people.
Now these next two pictures are of my best friends. The ones that I know I'll never loose touch with and never forget. Not that those in the picture above aren't special, because they are. But these are the people that keep me sane. Or at least my version of it.
Katelyn, Elizabeth, and me
I'm not in the picture. But this is Hallie and Alexis. I was creepin' them. It's what I do.
<3 I love all you lovely people.
She sat there. Listening to her mother talk.
"Just tell him Happy Father's Day. It won't kill you."
"He never told me Happy Birthday." was her response.
"Please." her mom pleaded.
Fianlly she gave in. She slowly walked into the room. Trying to find a memory from her childhood. She vaguely searched for something that stood out. Something before alcohol was a regular beverage for him. Before aruging was a usual sound in this house. Arguing over money. Arguing over her and her brother. Arguing over arguing. She sighed. She found a small reminiscent of them together. Walking at her grandparents. She was about 6 then. She kept that image in her head and pretended she was still her "Daddy's Little Girl" not what ever the hell she was now. Through clentched teeth she muttered "Happy Father's Day." The look on his face told her it wasn't good enough. Just like always. She let all her swirling emotions roll off of her shoulders as she sat down and watched as her perfect brother handed him the gift. There was no use in her trying.
"Just tell him Happy Father's Day. It won't kill you."
"He never told me Happy Birthday." was her response.
"Please." her mom pleaded.
Fianlly she gave in. She slowly walked into the room. Trying to find a memory from her childhood. She vaguely searched for something that stood out. Something before alcohol was a regular beverage for him. Before aruging was a usual sound in this house. Arguing over money. Arguing over her and her brother. Arguing over arguing. She sighed. She found a small reminiscent of them together. Walking at her grandparents. She was about 6 then. She kept that image in her head and pretended she was still her "Daddy's Little Girl" not what ever the hell she was now. Through clentched teeth she muttered "Happy Father's Day." The look on his face told her it wasn't good enough. Just like always. She let all her swirling emotions roll off of her shoulders as she sat down and watched as her perfect brother handed him the gift. There was no use in her trying.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
About 70% of the Earth's Surface is Water
If I could have a picture of anything it would be of when you're just under the waters surface and you can see the sun. It's so clear yet distorted. To me that's what depression feels like. You're under this thick fog, but you can see everyone else's happiness. Some part of you wants to reach that brightness, then another part doesn't care and just wants the hurting to end. You can feel the pressure of life weighing you down, just as you would the water if you were underwater. I've been into the dark waters of depression, but I'm getting better thanks to the help of loving family and friends. When you come up from the waters surface and you feel the precious air fill your lungs. Think of that feeling. How it seems to relieve you. That's what happiness feels like. Relief. Happiness is a great thing. Sometimes it's hard to find, but when you do, it's magical. You feel yourself leaving all those emotions of sadness for a better thing. Everything seems brighter.
30 Day Challenge: Day Two
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name
The meaning behind my Blog name.... Well... Simply that I don't know where I going. Life's a journey. A crazy one. Filled with shitty times and happier times. I've been through a lot. Regret somethings. Hated life. But all of that makes me who I am today. And that's the beauty of it. When all the bad times happen, you think it'll never end. That it'll last forever. But eventually they go away and you've made it out alive. I've learned that even when the dark times seem inevitable and the good times seem so hard to find, that you can't give up. Because in the end, it'll be worth it. So yes, I don't know where I'm going. But that IS the beauty of it.
The meaning behind my Blog name.... Well... Simply that I don't know where I going. Life's a journey. A crazy one. Filled with shitty times and happier times. I've been through a lot. Regret somethings. Hated life. But all of that makes me who I am today. And that's the beauty of it. When all the bad times happen, you think it'll never end. That it'll last forever. But eventually they go away and you've made it out alive. I've learned that even when the dark times seem inevitable and the good times seem so hard to find, that you can't give up. Because in the end, it'll be worth it. So yes, I don't know where I'm going. But that IS the beauty of it.
Friday, June 17, 2011
You're Never Really Alone as You Think
Since I found out I can make blog posts from my phone, I'm quite happy. Be expecting a lot more posts.
Random update: You're never really alone as you think.
Thank you, Hannah. You have no idea how much better you made me feel. Having someone who understands and I have a lot in common with means a lot. You're lovely.
-Randa Panda
Random update: You're never really alone as you think.
Thank you, Hannah. You have no idea how much better you made me feel. Having someone who understands and I have a lot in common with means a lot. You're lovely.
-Randa Panda
Fam[ily]
Right now I'm laying on my porch swing. Listening to my family talk. Times like these make me glad to have a family. To be able to lay here and know that these people love me. Even if they are kinda crazy. Sometimes I don't feel apart of it. Like a stranger watching from the outside. I'm so different from them and we all don't communicate very well, but maybe that's just my teenage-ness kicking in. Then there are times like these that makes me feel at home. I love my family. I really do.
30 Day Challenge: Day One
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
1. I've had 3 surgeries.
2. My favorite color changes everyday.
3. I want to live some place warm.
4. I'm not completely sure what I want to be when I'm older. There's things that I'd like, but as long as my life is good and I'm happy then I'm okay with it. :)
5. My ex is my best guy friend.
6. My eyes change colors.
7. I'm OCD.
8. I love animals.
9. I play volleyball.
10. I like the band Band of Horses.
11. I think Justin Bieber is attractive, although his music makes me want to stab a baby.
12. There's only two people who know every single thing about me.
13. I like meeting new people.
14. I live in an extremely small town.
15. My nails are always painted.
1. I've had 3 surgeries.
2. My favorite color changes everyday.
3. I want to live some place warm.
4. I'm not completely sure what I want to be when I'm older. There's things that I'd like, but as long as my life is good and I'm happy then I'm okay with it. :)
5. My ex is my best guy friend.
6. My eyes change colors.
7. I'm OCD.
8. I love animals.
9. I play volleyball.
10. I like the band Band of Horses.
11. I think Justin Bieber is attractive, although his music makes me want to stab a baby.
12. There's only two people who know every single thing about me.
13. I like meeting new people.
14. I live in an extremely small town.
15. My nails are always painted.
30 Day Challenge
I found this nifty little blog challenge.
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Your favorite song.
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Your favorite song.
Opening Up
I was told yesterday something that made me realize a lot. I was told "You shut everyone out. You can't see how damn amazing you are because you won't give anyone a chance to show you. You're stubborn as hell and you make me so mad. But I love you so, I'm obligated to not give up on you." I'm glad I listened.
So here you go, dear. This is me opening up.
-I try to satisfy everyone. Seeing someone hurting kills me. Sometimes when you're trying to be Super Women you forget about yourself every once in a while.
-I have self-esteem issues. They're getting better. :) But their still there.
-I don't get along with my dad. I say how much I hate him, but honestly, it kills me. I want more than anything a dad that I can run up and hug. One I can talk about my day with or actually talk to at all.
This blog post isn't for sympathy or anything of that sort. It's just me actually taking the advice. And I somewhat feel just a little bit better.
-Randa Panda
So here you go, dear. This is me opening up.
-I try to satisfy everyone. Seeing someone hurting kills me. Sometimes when you're trying to be Super Women you forget about yourself every once in a while.
-I have self-esteem issues. They're getting better. :) But their still there.
-I don't get along with my dad. I say how much I hate him, but honestly, it kills me. I want more than anything a dad that I can run up and hug. One I can talk about my day with or actually talk to at all.
This blog post isn't for sympathy or anything of that sort. It's just me actually taking the advice. And I somewhat feel just a little bit better.
-Randa Panda
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